Shock and Awe

I am shocked. Really.

Of course, these are just preliminary reports. Just an In Touch mention; nothing is definite till it makes the cover of People.

However, that doesn't mean that, in the meantime, there is not a great deal to consider.

Our fave: That it is KF's reluctance to clean up after the three dogs (BTW - Bit-Bit? Really?), and not the fact that he had two kids out of wedlock, the second of which was born during their engagement, or that buffalo wings and velour track suits played an integral part in their not-so-legal wedding ceremony and reception, or that he is such a strapping hunk of manhood that he is jealous of their three dogs, that led our ever-bright Ms. Spears-Federline to the conclusion that ol' Feddie might not make such a good poppa.

Wow - with instincts like that, I wish Britney were my mom.


SPEARS' MARRIAGE 'ON THE ROCKS'

Pop princess Britney Spears' marriage to dancer Kevin Federline is reportedly on the rocks after less than five months, according to two U.S. magazines.

In Touch Weekly claims Federline, 26, has been socializing on a regular basis without his 23-year-old wife. The couple wed in September after a whirlwind romance.

In Touch reports a friend of the couple saying, "Kevin has suddenly started partying like a single guy.

"In addition to going out on several occasions without his wedding band on, he's been hanging out with his old posse of pals and flying to Las Vegas for weekends of drinking, gambling -- and even lap dances in strip clubs."

Another magazine, Life and Style Weekly, claims Federline's behavior has prompted Spears to reconsider starting a family. Federline infamously ended his relationship with former "Moesha" actress Shar Jackson in April, while she was pregnant with their second child, to be with Spears.

A source tells Life and Style, "It has occurred to Britney that Kevin isn't a great help in cleaning up after the dogs [Bit Bit, Lacy Loo and Lucky]. And he might not be too eager to be on midnight diaper patrol either."

Federline is said to be annoyed by the amount of attention Spears pays to the three pooches. The source adds, "The other night Britney was leaving with Kevin for a romantic meal, but Bit Bit whined and whined and refused to be left. Eventually, they stayed home and ordered takeout."