I was going to write this on New Year's Eve. Then I was going to write it on New Year's Day. Then I was going to write it January 2d. And, well, here I am, on January 3d tip-typing away. Oops.

Actually, I really would have gotten to it earlier, but for the fact that I have had wireless internet set up in my house for over a year, and yet, I haven't learned to load the necessary software on my computer. Oops. Probably the same reason that my iPod and my computer have been trying to break up for over six months now (my 1200 song collection has been truncated to 191 songs - as that is all the iPod will accept before it tells my computer to "just talk to the hand." Apple and IBM and Microsoft refuse to help me with their relationship counseling. Maybe Maury Povich could help? Then again, it is getting to technologically Jerry Springer proportions. I think the IBM may have called the iPod a "ho." Ooops.). Oh, and did I mention my car is not running. Actually, I found out it wasn't running about three weeks ago. I motivated to call AAA to help me get it the necessary help - i.e. get it to car rehab - turns out all it needed was an aspirin as a quick pick-me up (a jump of the battery did the trick) or at least it worked until I got it to another destination, parked it, and now it is apparently dead again. However, I am unconcerned. Let's see how long it takes me till I get it up and running again as well.

So the point of all of this? I think I am technologically passive aggressive. I would call myself phobic, except clearly I own all of these technological gadgets. If I feared them, purchasing them in the first place would be a non-starter. However, the fact that I do not mourn or motivate at their failing health and/or relationship issues, must mean something. A deep seated resentment? An indifference to a cry for help? A fair-weather electronics user? Yes, indeed, that would be me.

I must admit to a great deal of angst and emotion with regard to the iPod's enfeebled state. I have memorized those 191 songs. The utter lack of originality is starting to drive me loopy. And yet...

I have a PC so getting help for little Ferris Q. iPod is difficult. No one wants to help deal with his inter-brand relationship. I also suspect that there may be difficulties for manufacturers in that Ferris and my IBM - Igor Sanchez Ramos - are living together unmarried, treating each other badly, and carrying on a homo-technical relationship. Guess even liberal Silicon Valley is not so open minded and embracing of the micro-alternative lifestyle of my electronics. Hey man, love is love. Ferris is entitled to full domestic partner benefits - physical and psychological benefits - health insurance to make him all better. Maybe I should send them off to Massachussets.

Okay, enough silliness.

The point here has actually been to write down resolutions for the year. Most call this a futile practice. Promises to oneself that are made to be broken. However, I have never done this, and would like to give it a try. Kind of a year long Lenten season if you will. I suppose I usually tend to do this simply as I skitter along through my year, but I don't think there is any harm in "setting the tone," right?

Resolved:

(A) To concentrate less on finding the right person and concentrate more on becoming the right person.

(B) Regret nothing.

(C) Create a sustainable rhythmn to my life (i.e. find a modicum of predictability/stability/comforting patterns)

(D) Emulate confidence (i.e. if I can't actually be confident, then I should pretend convicningly)

(E) Take at least 5 affirmative steps towards leaving my job by the end of the year (i.e. draft a business plan? Need to find a way to get more direction here. Too much inaction).

(F) Find the secret to a good night's sleep. Then actually start getting a good night's sleep on a regular basis.

(G) Do more for others. (If only to remember to do something for someone else everytime I do something for myself. Not perfect or even ideal, but at least it is a start).

(H) Stop worrying so much about the small stuff (which pretty much means just stop worrying.) Don't know if this one is possible. This may be hardest of all. This is the oldest habit I have got.

(I) Learn something new (i.e. tennis lessons, yoga, pilates, a language)

(J) Trust myself. Even if I do it "wrong" (because it doesn't turn out the way I planned) find some way to believe that it is the right thing in the end and that just trying made all the difference.

(K) Be able to say the above ((J)) and actually believe it.

(L) Stop being disappointed.