So I have decided to take a new approach. All my issues, all those problems I conveniently imagine and then mentally super-size, all that Gen xyz.com angst? Yeah, I am just going to ignore them. Not forever. But for the next couple hours. Just need a little peace and quiet in my head for right now.
So the 800 lb. self actualization gorilla thumping its chest, generally creating a scene and making an utter nuisance of itself? Yeah, it is just not there.
Won't acknowledge it. Not gonna do it.
La - La - La! I can't hear you!
And well, if that fails, I will just blame all of my problems a la B.L.B. on the newsmedia...
You, you, you AND you....
Damn the paparazzi and the hangers on... always making my life so difficult.
So in this headlong dive into ephemeral ignorance, I will do what I always do, make a list:
Running List: The Good, The Bad, and the Very Ugly.
Good: A true victory in the ever continuing quest of the perfect merger of carbonated water, aspartame, red dye #4 and phenylketonurics - the new Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. Damn tasty!
Bad: Though I had thought that nothing could top "Venus and Serena Williams: Fashion Designers" clearly, I spoke too soon.
Ugly, Ugly, Ugly: And while I am feeling rather snarky and have happened upon the choice topic of the Williams sisters, here is my unsolicited two cents: They are NOT cute. I don't care how many times people choose to describe them as "wondrous" and "breathtaking" (which I would like to note is exactly how the ugly baby in Seinfeld was described) they are not attractive women. They look like men! And, as I have begun meandering down this road of bitchiness, I may as well continue... the Olsen twins - also not cute. Smaller, but still not cute. For the life of me, I cannot figure out which is the one that is supposed to have an eating disorder, because, much like the aforementioned Marc Anthony, both of these little ladies look like they sprang directly from the Gollum family line. In addition to which, can anyone explain to me why two teenagers with more money than God, dress in a way that makes Ally Sheedy's character in The Breakfast Club look like she was wearing fitted clothing? Hmmm, let's see - anyone else?
Lightning round:
- Paris Hilton: Not blonde, not blue eyed, not talented, oh and given her keen resemblance to a squashed bug, not cute.
- Kevin Federline: He appears to expressly be trying to cultivate the "I just went on the Jerry Springer Show and all I got was this stupid Tee Shirt" look. Puzzling given his newfound wealth. Oh wait, of course, I forgot, he married for love. D'oh!
- Adrian Brody: Wasn't he in those Yo Quiero Taco Bell commercials a few years back?
- Mick Jagger: ugh!
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