Nonetheless, some object lessons, in no particular order:
- I can in fact be attracted to someone who is not arrogant, snobbish or in any way pretentious.
- Amazing character can in fact come in an Abercrombie & Fitch-looking package.
- I clearly must have a subconscious hero complex.
- I may, in all likelihood, be too weird to date.
- My time in BigLaw, even when I try to give it a positive retrospective spin, is inconceivable, and more than slightly disturbing, to anyone who is unfamiliar with the genre (read: anyone happy, well adjusted and normal).
- Given that, I am not sure how one goes about explaining away six years of living an inconceivable, disturbing workaholic life. Feels like it might be easier (and more acceptable) to say I was in a coma for the last half-decade and have recently awoken. Hell, it would be easier to say I had had some sort of vicious addiction and been in rehab for the better part of the 21st century.
- I have no hobbies. I always hate confessing that. I am not sure that I really want any - it seems like there is enough to do in life already - but I realize it makes me sound (or maybe just makes me) incredibly boring and pathetic.
- I am more confident than I have ever been in my life. However, clearly, that isn't saying much.
- I don't think I could possibly be more socially awkward. Truly, there ought to be an award for it. I could use a plaque to put on the wall in my office.
- It is so much easier to complain about being alone when one is only theoretically dating. Actually being out there is scary. It is an amount of vulnerability that I had avoided for a better part of a year. I forgot the potential for exhilaration and for bruising disappointment in the risk/reward arena.
- It is a good thing I am out there.
- But it is hard.
- Really hard.
- And I worry.
- A lot.
1 comment:
I have multiple comments, but I'll start with you are not too weird to date. You are unique, which makes finding someone who appreciates all that makes you wonderful and special. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. I'm leaning toward the you probably will, but I personally hate the platitude.
Second, who cares if you have hobbies or don't have hobbies or whatever. I think "hobby" is a stupid word or concept anyway. We all have things we enjoy doing in our spare time & to that degree we all have "hobbies." Anything more is sort of freak-14-year-old boy stuff anyway (like dungeons and dragons) or dull adult things like golf. Don't beat yourself over it. It's silly & irrelevant. Again, the right guy will like you for you.
And my third comment is that you probably don't need to explain your time in BigLaw to anyone until you want to. Non-lawyers are unlikely to get it anyway. No need to give it a positive spin either. I think the "positive" spin isn't spin at all & is simply that you left it and made a really good decision for yourself. The right guy will see that too.
Anyway, you're fabulous and if some jerk couldn't see that or was too awkward to talk to you and the best he could come up with was "what are your hobbies?" then you just still have some more looking to do.
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