The Simple Life

A simple list from a complex (or so she believes) and tired (tiresome?) girl:

- I took the afternoon off. Not enough, but it is something.
- My fatigue is unshakeable, it hangs over me and leaves my limbs feeling heavy. It is beyond tired. It is Tired.
- Had doubling over cramps this afternoon, but treated them with Advil, Diet Vanilla Black Cherry Diet Coke and Law & Order re-runs. Worked pretty well. Maybe I can patent that.
- I went to the grocery store, and bought actual food to put in my long-bare refrigerator. It was lovely.
- Went to the gym, pushed through the Tired and crampiosity and despite the chest pains I was having last night, and found the oft-discussed zone for the first time in a long, long time. It was a pleasant sign that, even through all of this, my body is not yet completely decimated and can achieve some normal function. Also lovely.
- Was all psyched to do laundry, but my change cup full of pennies made that a no-go. Ah well, hopefully, I have enough underwear and socks to get through the next couple weeks (at least).
- I have breathtaking views from three directions from my house. I took a moment to enjoy each of them today, in dazzling sunlight and splendor.
- I know that my most important task at this point is to get my life together, to find a path that I can travel safely and productively for the long run. Something other than what I am doing. And I understand that till I do this, I am not in a position to be trying to hitch my life in any way, shape or form to anyone else's. And, truth be told, I really have no desire for anything romantic at all at this moment. I think my psyche has jettisoned loneliness from its lexicon, for now, because there is too much else to worry about.
- Despite the above, I do miss him. All of the time. Not the idea of him, or what he might represent. Just him.
- iPod was on shuffle. Last three songs - More Than A Feeling (Boston); Kiss From A Rose (Seal); Won't Back Down (Tom Petty & The Heart Breakers). What is the Pod trying to tell me?
- I am afraid to go to sleep, because then it will be tomorrow.