Uh Oh, Methinks I Failed a Personality Test...

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 66% Stability 13% Orderliness 40% Empathy 50% Interdependence 50% Intellectual 36% Mystical 36% Artistic 56% Religious 30% Hedonism 56% Materialism 50% Narcissism 30% Adventurousness 23% Work ethic 43% Self absorbed 63% Conflict seeking 10% Need to dominate 50% Romantic 63% Avoidant 63% Anti-authority 43% Wealth 56% Dependency 70% Change averse 76% Cautiousness 83% Individuality 30% Sexuality 43% Peter pan complex 43% Physical security 90% Food indulgent 63% Histrionic 56% Paranoia 76% Vanity 76% Hypersensitivity 90% Female cliche 83%

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Here are the written results that followed chart above - the Bottom Line Interpretation if you will. Does this sound like someone you want to know?:

Stability results were very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
open, tough, irritable, worrying, does not like to be alone, craves attention, low self control, emotionally sensitive, interacting, sad, very social, aggressive, prefer organized to unpredictable, dependent, social chameleon, suspicious, values the heart over the mind, likes large parties, outgoing, likes to make fun, likes to fit in, mildly phobic, vain, makes friends easily, enjoys leadership, clingy, rash

REBUTTAL: See, now if I had any kind of self control, I would just let the results speak for themselves. But seeing as I don't, I thus set out to quibble and refute. Then again, I suppose I have already shot my id. or superego or what have you in the foot by conceding the lack of control thing, given that my "snapshot" does say "low self control." Hmmm, well, I can say authoritatively and with great gusto and emphasis that I am neither "tough" nor "aggressive" - got that!?! And "likes large parties" - eh, I dunno - I find myself to be open to keg parties of absolutely any size. In fact, I find that nothing says elegant and intimate dinner party like a large metal silo of 15 gallons of cheap american beer. Mmmm. As for "mildly phobic", I have it on good authority that I am in fact a "wholly and entirely raving hypochrondriac" given that I have, in over the course of the last ten years, been firmly convinced I have been afflicted with Ebola, SARS, the Avian Flu, a flesh-eating strain of Strep, and an incurable obsession with P. Diddy. "Enjoys Leadership" - yeah, not so much: Bush, Selig, and all the People Who Were Beaten Up As Children on the Playground Who Now Run My Workplace do not exactly provide me with what I would call "enjoyment." And as for "emotionally sensitive" - ha! - I am an absolute rock. I make Dick Cheney look warm, fuzzy and effusive.

BOTTOM LINE: Read altogether, it looks like this test reveals that all of my personalities were not playing nicely with one another this evening. Hate it when that happens. Need to have some sort of internal summit/peace accord meeting for them.

Time for Vacation. Or, let's be realistic about the time required here, Sabbatical.